Wouldn’t it be nice to feel like you are balancing all aspects of your life, like those creative pinterest posts? Currently, I feel like I am an amateur plate spinner like you see in the circus that spin plates on the end of sticks. In my left hand I’m spinning the plates of “health” including taking all my vitamins, blood pressure medicine, and following my suppression phase regimine of progesterone BCPs for my next round of IVF. In my right hand I spin the plates of “work” and trying to manage work with my health issues is proving difficult. Finally, I am spinning the plates of “baby” on my head. Now imagine all this plate spinning while walking down a set of janky stairs. The stairs represent my precarious health while on progesterone pills that leave me feeling like crying for no reason. Also I forgot to take my blood pressure medicine the other day which triggered a massive migraine I’m still dealing with. In a nutshell that’s how I’m feeling, like an amateur plate spinner attempting to walk down a crappy set of stairs.
But as with everything in life, this is a temporary feeling and a temporary situation. I am counting down the days until I’m off these progesterone-only BCPs. I was talking with my mom recently and I was thinking back to my turbulent early twenties. I think part of my mess of a situation could be linked to the BCP I was on back then. I don’t know why I never considered that before. I was off of BCP until recently when my doc recommended it for lining up my schedule to do IVF. I feel similar to how I did years ago, like a sad panda whiny mess of a human. It’s amazing how seemingly simple tinkering with hormones can change how you view situations completely.
But at least I have the insight now to know this is what’s going on. So what am I going to do about it? I need to ramp up my self-care routine. Here are a few of the things I plan on doing while I have to ride out this situation until October 30th, when I stop the BCPs:
- Listen to music more
- Watch funny Youtube videos
- Clean the house
- Avoid the news (since it’s pissing me off lately)
- Blog more 🙂
- Visit family
- Read for fun, not just for school
- Take a warm bath
I am currently in the suppression phase of IVF where I’m only taking the BCPs. I start my injections for my second round of IVF on November 1st. My doc is changing things a bit with my medicine. And I am happy to say that we have one PGS normal embryo on ice! As I mentioned in my last post, we are saving a lot of money by doing two egg retrievals back to back before I actually transfer any embryos. So my little “kidsicle” is suspended on ice until we can do our first FET probably sometime early next year. Money is our biggest obstacle right now, saving up for the flights to go down there and the hotel. But my clinic said that we can do the FET on the weekend so that would work well with hubby’s schedule so he won’t have to take time off from work. Despite my current throbbing migraine and financial situation, I am still hopeful for our future. I always find a way to work things out, and I’d like to add “starting a family” to that list.
Thank you for reading.
Featured Image Credit: Everydayhealth.com
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