I found out that my egg count is low according to my doctor, she called me at a time when I was busy so I didn’t get the details as far as the numbers, but she did say they were low. So now I feel even more pressure from my biological clock ticking. The phrase that keeps bouncing in my head is “my eggs are shit” and not only does my egg quality seem shitty but now I also found out my count is low. With more and more terrible news all the time, my husband and I both needed a little happiness in our life. We’ve both really been wanting a puppy, so we finally got one. We are so excited although he is quite the handful, his biggest issue is that he bites a lot. He does it playfully but with his razor sharp puppy teeth it hurts like a mofo. This is my first time living with a puppy (since all my dogs in the past were rescue dogs that were older) other than pet-sitting my family’s puppies, so I have a lot to learn about raising a puppy. My husband asked me, “Is this your first time raising a puppy?” I’m kind of surprised that I haven’t raised a puppy before. As far as the biting issue I read on the ASPCA website that you should do a high-pitched yelp as if you were a dog getting bit and it hurt. It’s supposed to startle them and help them understand that you are in pain. I think it kind of helps. It’s pretty funny to hear my husband saying “Eyeeep!” over and over. I don’t think he is as high-pitched as he needs to be. I could go on and on about my new puppy but let me get back to my fertility stuffs.

This past week has been absolutely insanely busy. I finished two grants, and one was really lengthy to the point where it was stressful. I was finishing up a handful of projects for my online college class and that project was very involved. I also had a TON of errands that needed done. So everything combined lead to a crazy week that I hated and bitched about. On top of all that I had a terrible cold, was throwing up, and it turned into bronchitis. Oh and my migraines decided to come back with a vengeance. What a shitty-ass week. But thank you Jesus this week is over! I made it through.

My doctor insisted I needed to cancel my hysteroscopy surgery because he was worried my bronchitis could be aggravated and turn into pneumonia if I was to do the surgery. So now my surgery is scheduled for this week. It’ll be my 3rd surgery in 7 months due to miscarriage complications. I need to have this surgery in order to make sure I am completely clear so when I do IVF in August I don’t have anything else remaining. That’s one of my biggest problems is that my body hangs onto everything for so long and follow-up surgeries are needed in my case. I wasn’t too surprised because I’ve heard other people needing a hysteroscopy after their D&C because it didn’t clear everything. It is really frustrating but it’s what I have to do for IVF.

So I’m shooting for IVF in August. Hopefully all the planets will align, I can get the time off from work, my finances will hopefully stay on track (no emergencies please!), and no more medical issues will get in the way of this procedure. Knock on wood, cross my fingers, and all that other superstitious mumbo jumbo. August is just around the corner and I’m already have a combination of crazy emotions. I’m feeling like panicking because August coming up so quickly, but then I also feel excited about going, and then I also feel dread if all of this doesn’t work. It’s a very weird mix of emotions. I”m thinking of seeking out some books or other blogs to read for guidance and tips on how to handle all of this. I suppose one day at a time is all we really can do.