“Modern Baby”
ABC News Documentaries
Available on Hulu and YouTube (click here to watch full documentary on YouTube)
Length: 48 minutes
HopingForBaby.com Rating: 5 out of 5
Spoiler alert!: I do talk about the pregnancy outcomes in this post, just a heads up. Go watch the documentary first and then come back to read my perspective on it if you haven’t seen it already. Don’t forget to comment below what you thought of the documentary.
Image Credit: AVNblogfeed.com
Much like my own experience has been with infertility, this documentary was a roller coaster of emotions. With each positive pregnancy test and each miscarriage, I knew exactly what these women were going through. After hearing the beginning of each couples stories I had made assumptions with who would probably have a live birth first, all of my assumptions were wrong. You truly never know what the outcome will be until you try. The hardest part of infertility is taking the next step forward after a loss. Each of these couples were incredibly strong and had amazingly supportive partners. If any of the couples happens to read this post, I know the pain and joy each of you have felt and I wish you all the luck with continuing to build your family!
Chris & Kerry’s Story
Kerry: 34 years old
Chris: 39 years old
2.5 years trying to conceive
Low Ovarian Reserve
Kerry and Chris only planned on doing one round of IVF with Kerry’s own eggs. I could relate very strongly to their story because I also have Low Ovarian Reserve and I had a round of IVF with similar numbers as Kerry who had 5 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized, and 0 normal embryos. Kerry said, “It was literally like losing our children” when she talked about losing her embryos. I felt the exact same way. I grieved losing three children at the same time it felt like, even though I had called them “embryos” up until the point I had heard I lost them. It is incredibly emotional and I cried while watching their story, because I know that pain.
Kerry and Chris considered what their next step would be between an egg donor, embryo adoption, or traditional adoption. They chose to go with embryo adoption. Chris explained why he was open to the idea of embryo adoption, “Part of me said, ‘well it’s only fair,’ it’s not Kerry’s DNA so why should it be mine?” I felt myself grieving with Kerry and Chris when they shared the news that their first embryo transfer had failed. They were determined to try again with their last adopted embryo out of two. Happily they conceived with their last embryo they adopted and they had a healthy live birth. I’m so happy they had a good outcome and thankful that they were able to share their story to the world.
James & Latanya’s Story
Latanya: 35 years old
James: 34 years old
6 years of trying to conceive
Tubal Factor Infertility (damage to Latanya’s fallopian tubes)
James and Latanya had been trying for over six years to have a baby. They had lost their baby boy when Latanya was a little over six months pregnant. She also had damage to her fallopian tubes and was told she would have to have IVF in order to get pregnant. They started a GoFundMe account asking for financial assistance to help pay for IVF due to the high cost of the procedure. James decided to get a loan to help pay for their round of IVF. The documentary shows James and Latanya’s egg retrieval procedure where she had 27 eggs retrieved. They decided to transfer two embryos at the same time. I was over the moon happy for them when they said that they were pregnant with not one baby but two! So it was heartbreaking to hear that she had lost her babies at week 22 of her pregnancy.
Although I am not a strongly religious person I have questioned my faith and how God works through my own infertility journey. The part of James and Latanya’s story that I related to the most was how they had asked God why it was happening to them. I’ve been told many times, “You would be such a good mom” so I know the struggle of wondering why God works the way He does. The part that stuck out to me the most about their story was how James said, “Our faith has been a staple in who we are, and even having to reconcile the walk of faith with the outcome.” That statement to me was very powerful because it shows that although they experienced such a devastating loss of two babies that were stillborn, they were able to draw on their faith to carry them through. They talked about how the support of their friends and family was also important for them to move forward. James and Latanya decided they plan to look into IVF again in the future.
Adam & Aviva’s Story
Aviva: 29 years old
Adam: 29 years old
Male Factor Infertility due to Testicular Cancer
Adam battled testicular cancer and amazingly survived. Adam and Aviva had one child prior to Adam’s cancer diagnosis and they wanted to try to give their son a sibling. They knew their odds of success would probably be low for a positive outcome due to a very low sperm count. They were hopeful and chose to pursue IVF. The documentary follows Aviva as she has her egg retrieval procedure.
I was so excited to see Aviva have 29 eggs retrieved, way more than the highest number I had retrieved with 8 eggs. It’s hard to not compare numbers like these, as many women in the infertility forums tend to do. I think it is part of wanting to seek out other women in situations similar to ourselves and see if there is hope. I had been overjoyed to hear their happy news of their pregnancy and then I felt so sad for Aviva and Adam when her pregnancy had failed. They tried again with a second round of IVF and the documentary left off with them expecting their baby to be born in a couple months.
Sarah & Yessie’s Story
Sarah: 32 years old
Yessie: 38 years old
3 years of trying to conceive
Experienced a Miscarriage
Yessie and Sarah had been trying to conceive for three years. They said that age was a factor in how they decided who would attempt to get pregnant first in their same-sex relationship. Yessie tried first and it was so sad to hear about her miscarriage. Yessie talked about how writing poetry helped her heal and cope with her loss. Miscarriage is so devestating, and at the risk of Yessie expiencing another loss they carefully considered what they would do next. They decided to have Sarah try IVF next with her own eggs and they choose a sperm donor.
I liked how they talked about the process of how they chose a sperm donor. For same-sex female couples, single females, and couples with male-factor infertility it is a major decision to choose a sperm donor. It was interesting to hear their perspective on how they decided on their donor. They talked about how some people might have the tendency to pick a sperm donor based on their physical attributes, but what I really liked about their decision is that they based it on the sperm donor’s essay and how he would be happy with knowing his child was being raised in a loving home like Sarah and Yessie’s. I felt so happy for them when Sarah was able to have a healthy pregnancy and to hear that they were trying IVF again to give their firstborn a sibling.
Today’s Question:
What parts of the documentary could you relate to the most?
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What part did I relate to the most? The entirety of Latanya and James story because I am James. Lol! Thanks for sharing your perspective of what impacted you in our story. We were pleased with the producers that they didn’t just use our story and created their own narrative. It was difficult to lose our precious twins. We are currently in the middle of our 2nd IVF cycle. We just did our transfer 2 days ago. My wife is a shero! We will know July 6th if we are pregnant.
Wow! Hi James! Thank you for reaching out to comment on my blog and sharing your story on “Modern Baby.” I’m sure I’m not the only one that found your story to be very powerful. I will be praying for you and Latanya for a positive pregnancy test. Tell Latanaya I said hi and that we are all rooting for her. Take care!