Merry Stressmas!

I am so happy to be off of this birth control! I was having daily headaches that turned into full-blown migraines 2-3 times per week. I am almost positive it was due to the birth control my doctor wanted me on until my FET next year. I was supposed to be on birth control to prevent pregnancy for six months after my last miscarriage. I am in this really sensitive time window during these six months because if I were to get pregnant now I am at high risk of developing Gestational Trophoblastic Disease, due to my last miscarriage being a partial molar pregnancy. But my quality of life really sucked with all the headaches that I decided enough was enough and I stopped. Technically I don’t need to be on birth control until just prior to my FET in April. And just like that, I’d say my daily headaches dropped to one or two in a week that were not that bad. So I’m convinced the biggest contributor of my recent headaches were the birth control pills.

For some reason when I went to refill my prescription for my migraine medicine the pharmacy said that they had “closed” that medicine. I ended up playing phone tag between my doctors office and my pharmacy of the next couple days. By that point I woke up with a killer migraine and it took all day for them to fill my prescription even after I had called several times. I’m talking one of those migraines where you wish you were dead. Yes, that bad. My husband drove me to the pharmacy and then picked us up dinner. I just laid in the car silent the whole time because I couldn’t even stand the sound of my own talking reverberating through my head. I was so thankful when the medicine finally kicked in because I really don’t need another ER bill.

I suppose my $800 out-of-pocket ER trip from earlier this year for a migraine actually was worth it because I got a good piece of advice from a nurse there. She said there is a place here in town that does IV hydration therapy had they use almost all the same IV medicine that the ER does for only $170. Say what?! I have yet to try them out, but that is a $630 savings for essentially the same medicine.

With my miscarriage earlier in the year and then another one in 2019 there were a lot of medical bills. I had multiple ultrasounds, many blood draws, several surgeries for miscarriages, and post-op follow-ups, it’s no wonder I had so many bills that it was hard to keep track of it all. This year alone I had 28 separate medical bills, only three of which were written off because I had gone over the out-of-pocket maximum for the year.

So why am I talking about all my medical bills? Because one medical bill derailed my debt-repayment plan which included being debt free by the end of the year. I was waiting for one of my medical bills to come in the mail, but never received it and I had assumed it had been one of the ones I didn’t need to pay because I reached the out-of-pocket maximum of $6,800. The insurance company told me that I would not get a bill once I reached my out-of-pocket max. I was set up on a payment plan already with the hospital for a different bill. To my surprise, and without discussing it with me, they added that second bill into my payment plan which increased my total amount of debt. As it turns out that bill was just prior to me reaching the out-of-pocket max so I still need to pay it.

This one stupid bill created a domino effect. I wasn’t going to have enough money for giving the Christmas presents that I wanted to this year. I won’t have enough for the Vegas vacation in January I planned at my doctor’s urging. He said, “You two really need a break. Go some place warm and enjoy yourself.” I won’t have spending money now for that trip, so I’m not sure how I’m going to enjoy it. I was also going to use some of that money to cover the expenses for my trip to Seattle to do my FET. That one, unexpected f**king bill ruined a lot of s**t for me.

For the most part, I try not to let things get to me. But this bill became the most recent slap in the face from reality that just when you think you are almost getting ahead, you will be knocked back down. Money is tight already. I’m working my last overnight shift tonight. Overnight shift pays slightly more but you sacrifice so much for your health by working overnights. At my OBGYN’s and my neurologists’ urging they insisted I stop working overnights because it was probably contributing to my sleep deprivation, migraines, growing waistline, and high blood pressure. My husband could see that I was getting more and more irritable working that shift. So for health reasons I decided absolutely no more overnights starting mid-December.

The problem with this change is now I have less options for the other shifts to work (I’m an on-call worker). There is more competition for shifts working days and evenings. For example, my boss texted me about two open shifts, a good chunk of money that would have really helped me. I didn’t hear my phone though. When I saw it 15 minutes later, I responded that I would take the shifts, but I was already too late and someone else had taken them.

I thought about getting a regular day job but there are two problems with that; 1) We already have our tickets booked for our trip to Vegas near the end of January, and 2) I had planned on not working if I got pregnant from my FET in April. So if I got another job now, they might not be so accommodating if I tell them “Yeah I’m going to be gone several weeks in January and February. And oh by the way I’m also going on another trip in April and I’m not coming back to work after that. So is it cool if I just work a few weeks here and there and then you won’t see me at all after April?” I know I’m being flip about it, but that’s essentially what I’d have to tell them if I was being truly honest about my schedule. That’s why being an on-call worker is kind of a better fit at the moment. But if my hours really slow down and I don’t have enough to pay bills, well I just might have to find a temporary job to hold me over until April. New job equals new stress. And like most of us are advised by our doctors, “find ways to reduce stress in the months prior to the frozen embryo transfer.” Riiiiight. Merry Stressmas to me. I might be a Grinch this Christmas, but I know it can always be worse, I guess that gives me some comfort.