“Making Babies” (2019)
Writer & Director: Josh F. Huber
Length: 87 minutes
HopingForBaby.com Rating: 4 out of 5
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I don’t care about what movie critics say, this was a good movie. I see it as a rom-com with infertility as the main conflict in the storyline. It was funny, surprisingly funny. It was really silly at times, but in a good way. I laughed out loud when Katie (played by Eliza Coupe) used an Irish accent to talk dirty to her husband John (played by Steve Howey) as she “assisted” her husband John (played by Steve Howey) in the specimen room. I haven’t laughed that hard in a while. In fact, I don’t know any other movie out there like this one that has taken the subject of infertility and had a good balance of dealing with real emotions while also having funny moments too.
I feel many of the scenes and dialogue were inspired by personal experiences because the different scenarios were all too familiar for those of us dealing with infertility, including cliched advice. Katie’s sister-in-law Maria (played by Elizabeth Rodriguez) told Katie to “just relax,” “go on vacation,” and “Have you thought about adopting?” Although the intention is to be helpful, most of us who’ve struggled with infertility know those statements are overused and become incredibly annoying to hear over and over again. But Maria makes up for it later by apologizing and telling Katie she didn’t realize how difficult it really was for her until she saw how long Katie had been struggling to conceive. Katie and Maria are on the opposite ends of the fertility spectrum, with Maria having three children right after getting married while Katie was still struggling to conceive after five years. But Maria opened up to Katie and explained how she had panic attacks after having her first child. Maria expressed that she didn’t think she could tell others about her postpartum mental health. And Katie might not have felt comfortable talking about her infertility at times. Although this scene happened at a fairly fast clip in the movie, I felt like there was gold in that moment. The societal expectations of women becoming mothers and what being a “good mother” looks like weighed on both Maria and Katie but in different ways. I think there was a really good message in that moment, we can still support each other even if we haven’t walked the same path as other women.
I liked how there seemed to be an equal amount of both Katie’s perspective as well as John’s. After trying to conceive for five years and spending so much money on IUI and IVF it started to weigh on them not just financially but also emotionally. There was a very raw scene near the end of the movie where they have an argument. Although it didn’t fit the majority of the movie’s comedic feel, that scene was so important to show. Their fight was about the huge toll infertility treatments were taking on not only their finances but their emotional health as well. John sacrificed starting up his dream brewery business in order to put money towards the cost of treatment. Katie explained how she had to sacrifice so much physically and emotionally.
After watching that scene it felt like the argument was inspired by a real event. Most couples doing infertility treatment will reach a point where they begin to question when they should stop treatments. Based on my own experience as well as many of my online friends doing treatment have said, at some point you are going to disagree on when and whether to stop treatments. Many times couples are not on the same page or have a hard time figuring out a reasonable compromise. It takes a lot of good communication and listening to each other to figure this out.
For many of us that is our reality, we put all our other hopes and dreams on hold. Our dream of having a child demands a hefty price to pay. The average cost for one round of IVF is between $10,000 – $20,000. The overly simplified “just adopt” solution we get told often is incredibly expensive too, averaging at $40,000 – $50,000. It was no wonder John and Katie reached a breaking point when they had no money left and no patience left with each other either.
Director and writer Josh Huber did an excellent job showing how many of us put everything on the line in order to try to start a family. I liked that he also had Katie and John reach a pivotal point in their relationship where they either need to stop trying in order to stay together, or choose to go their separate ways. Many couples struggling with infertility have gone through this. I personally know of several friends whose relationships ended due to infertility, it’s sadly common. I think that Josh Huber initially grabs our attention with the humorous aspects of infertility and he drives it home with a really good message knowing when to focus on your partner and when to take a break from trying to conceive.
Some movie critics wrote some snarky and downright mean things about this movie. I definitely get the sense those people never experienced infertility. Yes, the movie had some cheesy and silly moments, but overall I thought it was a good movie. The only reason I gave it a 4 out of 5 was part of the storyline was confusing. The doctor told Katie that she had nothing wrong with her at all, and that their infertility was due to John’s low sperm count. But then later they talked about how Katie had several infertility issues and this was part of their argument. I don’t recall any mention of Katie learning she had issues in her doctor’s visits. So for John to say in their argument something to the effect of he didn’t want to be with someone who couldn’t have kids, it didn’t make sense to me.
I like that it showed a good amount of the male perspective through John’s character. I feel like we need to hear more of the male perspective relating to infertility. I think that a good amount of men feel they need to “suck it up” and not express their disappointment, anger, and even depression during infertility. But this can really drive a wedge between partners. It’s okay to show emotion during those times because it is a very emotional experience. Holding it all in does no one any good. When John blew up at Katie I felt like it was that kind of situation, where he was holding things in for so long until it finally boiled over. Even though us women may be injecting ourselves with the medicine and dealing with the physical aspect of fertility treatments, this does not mean our partner’s are not going through a lot of stress and emotions around the whole process. This movie did a good job of showing that. I recommend watching this movie yourself, and tell me what you think in the comments below. What parts of the movie did you like?
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