I think anyone who gets pumped with a lot of hormones is going to have their emotions amplified. But when a negative life event occurs the same time during fertility treatment hormones, things can get really messy. The word ‘messy’ is putting it mildly compared to the extreme amount of stress I experienced this week. I was already feeling miserable this week, with exhaustion, nausea and bloating. But what happened next really takes the cake.
Catch-up on Previous FET Prep Posts
FET Prep Week 1: 3.5 months until FET
FET Prep Week 2: Supplements, WTF Email, & Increased AMH Level
FET Prep Week 3: You say Future Tripping, I say Future Planning
FET Prep Week 4: Bad News from SIS Test
FET Prep Week 5: Surgery, Depression & Trip to Nevada
FET Prep Week 6: Relax! You’re on Vacation.
FET Prep Week 7: Food Plan, Medical Debt, Post-op Follow-up, & Imagining Motherhood
FET Prep Week 8: Migraines & Some Good News
FET Prep Week 9: A Tough Decision
FET Prep Week 10: Down-Regulation Started, Infertility Group, Coronavirus Concerns
FET Prep Week 11: Possible COVID-19 Travel Restrictions, Postpone Fertility Treatment?, & The Skyrocketing Cost of Leuprolide
FET Prep Week 12: Clinic Says “No FET” due to COVID-19 Pandemic, Digital Roundtable on COVID-19
FET Prep Week 13: FET Scheduled After Clinic Partially Reopened
FET Prep Week 14: Plans Changed, Flying Solo, & Confusing Med Instructions
FET Prep Week 15: Should This be Happening? | To Lovenox, or Not to Lovenox, that is the question. | High Anxiety from Methylfolate
FET Prep Week 16: Injections Started | Approved for Lovenox | New Vitamins to Reduce Anxiety
FET Prep Week 17: Suppression Check Disappointment | The Downsides of Fertility Meds
FET Prep Week 18: Altered Plans Due to Cyst | On Different Pages with Spouse
FET Prep Week 19: Facepalm and Panic Moment | Treatment During COVID & Seattle’s ‘CHOP’ Protests | 3rd Monitoring Appointment Results
FET Prep Week 20: Clinic Cancels My FET
FET Prep Week 21: Starting All Over | Scary Side Effect? | Not Enough Syringes | Move or Travel Abroad for Treatment?
Countdown Until FET: 9 days (as of 07-21-2020)
Hormonal Hot Mess
If you’ve ever used fertility drugs you know that it can alter your emotions, and make it harder for you to keep things in check. Most people who know me, know that I am normally a calm and level-headed person in high stress situations. Imagine you are looking at a graph with a bell-shaped curve. At this time, I’m at the top of the curve, experiencing the height of all physical and emotional symptoms. Now throw in an extremely stressful event that has happened, well honey, let’s just say I’m off the charts now. I was so incredibly angry about this situation. It’s not just an emotional situation but it’s a financial one that could severely impact our future.
So what happened? Several months ago my husband gave a family member his personal information to start the process to co-sign for something, not knowing all the details and while being distracted at work. He wanted to help them out, because they’ve helped him out in the past so he gave them his information. I was unaware of any of this.
Fast-forward to this week, it was morning time and Kurtis goes online to check his credit, because we are planning to buy a house soon. We were looking at houses the previous day. But…surprise! He now has a $46,000 debt that he had no idea about. He thought someone had stolen his identity. Both he and I were scrambling to look up phone numbers to call about how this happened. We called our identity theft company, and started calling the credit reporting agencies. It was about an hour or so into our research and rage that we were able to pull up his credit report.
We found the account that showed $46,000 loan and I pointed to the screen, “It says here joint account.” Then he remembered that several months ago his family member had asked for his personal information to co-sign for something. What the actual f**k!
Let’s just say a whole clusterf**k of a situation ensued. I am at one of the most vulnerable stages of my life, about to undergo fertility treatment. My doctor and medical team have been advising me for months to do anything and everything to reduce stress. And then this family member comes along and drops a massive bomb into our lives.
I let them know that their actions have most likely led to us not being able to get a house or financing for future fertility treatment or adoption. For my own sanity, I had to cut them out of my life. I needed to set that boundary because I cannot handle any extra stress right now. That family member picked the absolute worst time ever, to take advantage of my husband. I am hoping and praying that the stress I am experiencing right now does not impact my upcoming embryo transfer. The last time I experienced this extreme amount of stress was when my father passed away. I was pregnant at the time and I lost that baby.
I have got to do anything and everything in my power to continue to reduce my stress. Whether it’s yoga, going for walks, playing with the pets, watching funny movies. Whatever it is, I need to do lots of it to counteract this horrible situation. Self-care is going to be huge for me until my embryo transfer, which is coming up really soon in nine days.
I’m so sorry that life’s throwing this curveball at you guys. You gotta take care of yourself, be gentle and loving to your body, when stress is trying to wreck it. Stress can be a scary thing. What really helped me after my med cycle was listening to a bunch of fertility podcasts I found. I found them to be so uplifting, reassuring and positive, in a way that I really needed it. There are also mind-body and fertility life coaches who are so good at wording things in a way that helped me. Maybe it is more of a long term plan rather than a short one. I really wish you all the best with the cycle…keep in mind that life can also throw some miracles our way, in addition to chaos. 🙂
Thank you for the really good ideas. I will definitely have to try some. 🙂
Oh yes fertility podcasts are great. It’s been a while since I’ve listened to them, I should give them another try. What are some of your favorites? I’ve heard some people really get a lot out of fertility coaches. I learned there are even coaches that help women transition from TTC to accepting their infertility and living a child free life, or adopting. I think it’s so cool how there are a wide variety of coaches for our community. I didn’t know there were mind-body coaches for fertility, so thank you for sharing that. I also love that you said “keep in mind that life can also throw some miracles our way, in addition to chaos.” Love this! Thank you. 🙂
I recommend “fertile ground” with Spenser Brassard, “fertile minds radio” with Hillary Talbott Roland, and “fertility wellness with the wholesome fertility podcast” with Michelle. Those are my favorites, it also depends on my mood- whether I want information like diet tips or emotional support. I love hearing all these women talking about womanhood and ttc!
Awesome! Thank you, I will check them out.