(Entry written prior to posted date).
Poor Mom is really sick today. She is coughing, sneezing, and to top it off she has a bad migraine. I decided that it would be better if we just stayed in today so she could get some rest and recover from her cold quickly. I decided to make today my day to study. I’m taking an online class through my local college and I need to keep up with all the assignments. I recently wrote in a previous post about the many sacrifices you make when you do IVF, and choosing an online class instead of an in-person class was kind of a sacrifice for me. This way I could still do my trip out-of-state for IVF and not worry about getting behind in school and missing in-person classes. I wish I could take more than one class right now, but this is another sacrifice I had to make in order to have extra money to fund this trip.
Most of today I spent relaxing at the hotel studying Tolstoy and Chekhov. Both are very interesting writers. On the surface Chekhov’s “The Cherry Orchard” seemed kind of boring to me. But once I learned the history behind the story it helped me to understand the symbolism a lot better and made me appreciate the work more. I feel good about going back to school to study what I am really passionate about. I’m going for my bachelor in English. The high cost of IVF has determined the pace at which I can complete school. I told myself even if I have to do just one class at a time, that is better than not going at all. Some people seem perplexed when I tell them I am going for English. They make comments on how irrelevant that degree is in the workforce these days. Although I respect their opinion and I can see where they are coming from, I’m doing it for reasons other than having a job as an end goal. I chose this degree because I want to create more quality writing, worthy of being published.
Although IVF has pushed my graduation timeline further out, I’m trying to look on the bright side. At least this way I can go to school part-time and really absorb the information this time, as opposed to last time I was in school I was constantly rushing through studying and not doing as much serious contemplation and applying it into my life. Now I have plenty of time to examine and enjoy what I am studying. The other good thing about taking a class while doing IVF is that it serves as a good distraction for me. I don’t have time to sit and wallow when I have a paper due soon, or I need to post a response to an assignment. School forces my brain to focus on something other than my IVF worries. School has become a good distraction for me. I suppose IVF is forcing me to “stop and smell the roses” and to be more in the moment with life.